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Aha!
You!
Mr or Mrs Person! This page is exciting!... as it is brought to you by exciting anchor personality and star of the TV show
‘World of Tremlett’
Mr Biff Bigmore!......Here he is now!
BIFF: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hi there everyone out there in cyberspace! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
We know what you’re looking for on this page! It’s the Latest News isn’t it! Ha! Yes it certainly is! It’s no use denying it! Stop doing so! You’re in the right place! Coz it’s here! Ha ha ha! Barking at your door! Yes! Cocking its leg! Chewing its stick! Wagging its tail like a cool hot doggie! It is in fact in its kennel and eating out of its very own bowl as I type!
Yes! It’s The Latest News….from Tremlett!
And as you’d expect with The Latest News….it’s shit hot off the press! Like a hot dog in hot heat panting its little hot heated tongue off. Yes! Ha ha!
The Latest Tremlett News… delivered here, and woofing and whining all the way to your compooter!
And ..Hey! Coz it’s here….we can tell you what the Latest News might possibly be! Yes we are allowed to do that!
You know we are! Because it’s here we tell you all about the latest Tremlett products…the ‘Good Goods’ that are so good..for YOU and all your consuming solutions!
Yea Tremlett! As your American cousins would holler! (if you are American, ignore this)
So…here’s the Tremlett philosophy….
Need something good? It’s Tremlett!
Need something bad? Well go away at once! It’s not Tremlett!
No way JJ! You won’t find ‘bad goods’ here! We sell ‘good goods’! Yes we most bloody certainly do! If some narner strides up to you and marches all over your decking and suggests he or she is after ‘bad decking’ you’d better ‘deck’ him. Ho ho! What we
have is ‘good’. That’s why the ‘goods’ are ‘good’. If there’s to be any decking at Tremlett (there isn’t btw) then the decking will be good decking!
And here’s some of the very Latest News we want to deliver…to you! At the earliest! Or sooner than that even!
Over to our roadside reporter, Mat Rugg
MATT: Thanks Biff.
BIFF: How are you Matt?
MATT: Swell Biff. Just bursting to tell you and all our cyber readers all about some ‘good goods’ news.
BIFF: Great Matt!
MATT: There’s a new item and model on the site! Yes it’s 48 year old Andrea who is showing us the mobile phone hands free accessory. Remember. All our models will willingly have their photos taken with you to be posted at a later date on the site. If nudity is required, remember, we will always negotiate a fee that suits both parties.
BIFF: Great!
MATT: It is Biff. And have you noticed we now represent the amusing comedy combo the Bay Citee Molars whose album we are selling on this site. Why not visit their website on thebayciteemolars.co.uk?
We are also selling Bay Citee Molars merchandise and memorabilia. Why not add something rumbustious from their marvelously amusing slightly risqué singing and comedy act which has been around for several years and has good quotes by the handful? Like a used toothbrush or plastic glove?
Don’t be square! Go there!”
BIFF: Thanks Matt. You’re great!
MATT: Why thanks Biff! So are you!
BIFF: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You crack me up!
MATT: Incidentally here’s another news item.
BIFF: Oh ok!
MATT: The BCMs (that’s Bay Citee Molars to you Mrs) were once the “Amazing Singing Dentists” and before
that the “Kondos”! There’s more info about them on a dear friend of TremlettJonathan Kydd’s site. His address is www.jonathankydd.com
BIFF: I knew that! I knew that!
MATT: Me too!
BIFF: More The Latest News later!
MATT: Thanks Biff
BIFF: Thanks Matt! You’re great!
MATT: I love you too Biff
BIFF: Say Matt. Fancy a beer?
MATT: Sure do Biff (etc etc) FADE